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Your Weekly Horoscope

funny horoscope

Let’s take a quick look at this weeks horoscope..

 

Aries

Your mind has recently been transfixed on one clear idea. It is important that you follow your dreams and let your passions lead your true path. You must follow up on your idea and put your thoughts into action

 

Taurus

You’ve recently been concerned by an Aries friends’ actions and they’re lack of attention to detail. Their mind has clearly been on other things. Don’t trust them. They’re clearly up to something and about to put a plan into action. You must stop them. Also, be wary of a stranger trying to gain the favour of a loved one.

 

Gemini

One of your friends (probably a Taurus) is up to their meddling tricks again. Only this time they are about to stamp on someones dreams. It is time to ask the question you have always wondered: Do you really need this person in your life? Probably not? Then time to move on.

 

Cancer 

A close Gemini friend or relative is about to lose a dear friend. This is the chance you’ve been waiting for. The door is open for you to step in and become their new best friend. Give them a shoulder to cry on and you will be rewarded with their friendship. Careful though, you may be being watched.

 

Leo 

If your partner or spouse is a Cancer you may want to keep an eye on them. They will be there in the time of need for someone else and become closer as a result. Do you trust this mysterious person entering their life?

 

Virgo

You have always been strong willed and determined often influencing others with your positive behaviour. A Leo close to you is currently dealing with jealousy issues and is paranoid about their partner. It is up to you to put your influence to good use and help them find out the truth.

 

Libra

You’ve done such a great job lately. Neptune has aligned with Pluto to give you good fortune. Now is the time to congratulate yourself for a change. Don’t be afraid to show off the rewards of your hard work.

 

Scorpio

Mars is within reach of Uranus. It is vital that you let your feelings known. There is a high chance a Scorpio in your life will be acting smug and self fulfilled. In order to restore balance you must tell them exactly how you feel about their superior behaviour. Do not pull any punches.

 

Sagittarius

You are feeling particularly down lately due to Venus penetrating Saturn. To cheer yourself up simply sit back and relax. A whole host of fireworks are about to go off in your friendship group. A great storm is brewing and you get to take a back seat and enjoy the action.

 

Capricorn

There might not be a tomorrow. Sell all of your belongings and say goodbye to all of your friends. Enjoy your last day as a human and fulfil all of your wildest desires.

 

Aquarius

Avoid contact with any Capricorns. They’ve gone crazy.

 

Pisces

Jupiters moons have aligned. If you’re looking for a bargain make sure you visit any Capricorns you know. There might be a chance of a bargain or even a freebie.

 

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